Friend Hoarder

I like to call myself a friend hoarder.  I have been collecting friends for years now and I make a decent effort to see those friends whenever I can.  The holidays were the perfect time to have a few dates to catch up with friends I've known since pre-school or just since April.  I call this exercise Watering my Cactii (see previous post for explanation of cactus friend).

I drove in to Chicago and met up Alexa, my ex-Decatur friend who has already abandoned me for the bright lights of the big city.

Sean picked me up in the city and took me to Katie's birthday party where I drank the strongest Long Island Ice Teas I've ever had and caught up with Shane, Travis, Lauren and Justin.

My high school friend, Anna, and I traipsed around Wicker Park and talked about everything from boys to books, coffee to college.

My pre-school-through-college-and-beyond friend Mari, my one avid reader, and I had breakfast.

I ran into my friend Cameron from high school and chatted for a few minutes.

Politics friend, Amar and I went to go see the new Sherlock Holmes movie.... I loved it!

Jonathan, my college democrat/politics friend from ISU, and I went on a mini Decatur bar tour and talked about many things intelligent and silly.

Brandon, a Decatur friend that I see all the time, rented Water for Elephants and cooked me frozen dinner.  We talked about the impossibility of understanding the opposite sex.

Kathryn, my life-time-choir friend, and I sat around her living room playing with her four cats.

Meghann, my best friend from community college, cut my hair and and and and.....

Rachel, a community college friend/roommate, introduced me to her new-to-me boyfriend.  Its funny how you can pick back up with someone after 2 years apart.  Her mom and dad fed us pizza and punch. :-)

Alex, my community college friend and ISU roommate, was back from her exciting life in New York for New Year's Eve.

My friend Bekka, one half of my best match-making work, and I danced all night on New Year's Eve.

Lindsay, community college work-mate and music buddy, came back from Italy after 3 months of being an Au Pair.  SO jealous of her fabulous experience.

My college best friend, Doris, came to my family Christmas and spent the night at my childhood house for the first time.


I stopped by to see my oldest (based on number of years) best friend, Kiley.  Eloise (my cat) pooped in her mudroom.

I saw Rich for the first time since we decided to stop dating.  We had drinks and dinner and lots of great conversation.

I'd say that I am just the LUCKIEST person alive.  I have so many people who love and care about me.  I am grateful that we can pick our friendship back up and dust it off at any time.  I wish that we all had more time for each other, but I know that we are all very busy, spread across the country and the world, living our lives and pursuing our dreams.  <3

Photo Fiend

Rich with the borrowed puppy, Nala.

Tonight I decided to deal with some old photos.  I haven't uploaded pictures to Facebook in several months, except for one album from my trip to Des Moines.  I bet I have tens of thousands of pictures on my computer.  You could say I'm addicted to taking pictures.  My camera goes with me everywhere I go, and when I don't have it, I usually regret it.  I've included a random sampling of memories from my new facebook album "Forgotten Photos"....

Alexa and Greer, the first time we met Greer <3

 
I LOVE taking pictures.  I actually took 2 photography classes in college, but you would never guess that from looking at my photos!! I'm still not very good at candid photos.  The best photographs of mine are of nature and other things that sit still.



The thing I love the most about photography is that, not only can you remember a memory forever, but you can also see what you did not catch before.  Life looks a little different in freeze frame than it did when you were busy living it.

Ellie being terrifying! (All she did was meow!!)

My mother always says, "Life looks so fun in pictures!"  It does.  Usually because it is!  I don't take pictures to make my life SEEM fun.  I take pictures because I am HAVING fun.  For me, part of the fun IS taking the pictures.

People seem to act a bit differently when there is a camera around.  They want to act in a way that they want to be remembered.  At parties, the action is ramped up when the camera comes out.  People start smiling more at all times, for fear of being caught on camera with a nasty look on their face.  A camera is an instant smile machine.

Hanging out with Jonathan and Doris

Love and Learn

I believe that when someone comes in to your life, it's because you are supposed to learn something from them. They come at just the right time and offer you just what you need.

After getting out of two relationships in a row that left me emotionally drained and damaged, I found someone who was good to me and appreciated me for who I was.  He was certainly not perfect- but I thought so.  I met him just when I needed someone to bring me back to life.  When he left, I thought that eventually he might come back after we both did some growing up.  But now I don't hope for that any more.  Him walking away was also what I needed.  When I was with him, I was able to hold on to my life at college and didn't need to fully immerse myself in my new life.  Since then, I've become a part of my new community and moved on to a new phase in my life.  

Every new place, every new job, every new group of friends is a new phase.  Sometimes a few people come along into the new phase, but there is no reason to mourn those who stay a part of the past.  Take pictures to remember the past and look back to appreciate what it was.  Keep in contact with friends (thank goodness for Facebook!) and visit if you can.

Learn what you can while friends are here and be thankful for them after they are gone.  Keep on loving and learning.  <3

Words I Live By, in no particular order

I read a lot of self-improvement stuff that I come across as I travel through the wonderful world wide web.  But in my (almost) 24 years, I've collected some knowledge of my own.  I stopped at twenty, but I bet I could have made it to One HUNDRED and twenty!

1. Take the saying "You learn something new every day" to heart.  Don't think you've learned anything yet today?  I like to stumble until I do.  Or Wiki-surf: go to Wikipedia and read the featured article (or as much of it as you are interested in) and click on one of the links in the article.  Do this several times over until you find yourself on a completely different topic.

2. Don't let clutter take over your life.  Every time you notice that your living/work space has become messy, pick up 3 things.  Sometimes this game turns in to 5 or 10 things, or an hour's worth of scrubbing when the mood hits.

3. Set small goals frequently.  For example:  do yoga every morning for a week, read 2 books this month, save $100 this month.  Even if you never reach them, it helps to motivate you for a while.

4. Be shamelessly thrifty.  Shop at yard sales, thrift stores and clearance racks. Why pay full price?  Here is my own guide to thrifting.

5. Volunteer Regularly.  When you volunteer with one organization on a regular basis, you form relationships that are just as rewarding as the work itself.  Volunteer for a cause you believe in and the experience will be so much more than a "resume builder".

6. Cancel your cable TV for a year.  Read a book. Cook a nice dinner for someone you love. Play board games with your family or friends.  Cross something off the honey-do list. Go for a night walk. Learn an instrument.  Pick up a hobby.  Do a puzzle. Get that regular volunteering in.   If there are shows you just can't miss, you can usually find them on Hulu.  Once you've learned to survive without it, I doubt you'll be in a hurry to get the cable hooked back up.

7. Don't waste time worrying.  Most of the time we worry about things that will never happen.  Don't think about problems that haven't arisen yet, and spend your time solving the problems that do arise.

8. Be your own best friend.  If you don't like yourself, how do you expect others to like you?  Do what you can to improve yourself, but accept yourself for who you are, not who you'd like to be.  Spend time alone to find out who you are when no one else is looking, for that is your truest self.

9. If you think you can't, you can't.  Approach every task optimistically.  Its amazing what you can do just by saying, "I can." You can run a mile.  You can learn to knit.  You can read War and Peace.  But you can't if you never try.

10. Be good to others.  We're all in it together.  When someone is rude to you, try to think of what they may be going through that would make them act in such a manner.

11. Take pictures often.  My mother always says "Life looks so fun in pictures."  I always reply "My life IS fun.  I take pictures to remember."  It's always a treat to look through old Facebook photo albums and think about how I felt at that moment.  Always be making memories, but don't forget to take a look at old ones every once in a while.

12. Try new things!  Don't box yourself in and settle in to the life you have.  Always reach for new things.  Take a different route to work.  Prepare a meal you've never tried before.  Shake up your Saturday Night routine.  Try on that skirt you think looks so great on the mannequin.  Even if it doesn't work out, at least you will have learned something about yourself.

13. Spend big bucks on experiences, not things.  Things break, get used up or get lost.  Spend your money making memories.  THINGS to invest in: a camera, a nice big bed and good walking shoes.

14. Stay humble and be grateful for what you have.  In Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson, Suzanne is always saying "Aren't we lucky?"  This is a saying I've taken to heart.  Be thankful for everything you have and everyone in your life.

15. People come in to your life for a reason.  People come in and out of your life- some people stay longer than others.  Learn what you can from them while they are there.  Don't mourn lost relationships, but cherish the lessons learned from them.

16. Trust your gut.  There are so many examples of this that I'm having trouble choosing.  This works as good test advice, moral advice or dating advice.  When you know, you know.

17. Call your mom.  On Hwy 20, there used to be a sign right outside Rockford that said "Call your mom."  I never understood what the advertisement was for, but I always called my mom.  I think it was good advice.  You should tell her you love her too.  Which reminds me....

18.  Say "I love you" as often as you mean it.  Love makes the world go 'round.  All you need is love.  Love conquers all.  Cliche, cliche, cliche.  But seriously.  Don't YOU love it when someone says "I love you?" Doesn't it just make ya feel good?  Well, others like to hear it too.  There isn't enough in the love in the world.  I bet terrorists would think twice if a few more people told them "I love you" every once in a while! HA!

19. Know what is going on in the world.  You don't have to read the newspaper every day or watch the 6 o'clock news every night, but you should have some clue about major events happening locally, nationally and globally.

20. Wake up before you want to.  Get plenty of sleep, but don't miss the best part of the day.  Mornings are magical.  Sunrise is the most peaceful time of day.  Hitting snooze feels good for 10 minutes, but 10 minutes of yoga will wake you up better than a whole pot of coffee.  Use extra morning time to relax before you start your day.  Don't start your day in a hurry.

My 5 Year Class Reunion OR How to Embarrass Yourself in Front of People You Haven't Seen In 5 Years

Kathryn and I have come a long way!

 At first, I was pretty nervous to go to my class reunion.  Many schools don't even have a 5 year class reunion.  There were some people who, honestly, I have been avoiding since graduation.  But the friends I still keep in touch with wanted to go and they wanted me to go too.  MAN.  I'm so glad I listened to my much wiser friends.

I started off my morning almost in tears.  I've gained about 10 pounds since high school, my acne (which had gone away after taking Acutane in high school) has returned and my hair was NOT cooperating. 
I spent the day going to local garage sales with my grandma.  If this couldn't get me in a good mood, nothing would have worked.  Buying people's old junk is a favorite past time of mine.

I got ready quickly and was actually happy with the result- junk shopping put the glow in my cheeks!  I picked up Kiley, my best and oldest friend to go to dinner.  It only got better from here!

Friends that should have been my friends always

I saw people I didn't know I wanted to see.  Some of my classmates have really blossomed in the past 5 years.  They are doing wonderful things with their lives and it was so great to hear them share and to be able to share my work and goals with them too.

My long lost love, Anna.

For so long, I hated going home because I didn't think there was anyone to hang out with.  I lived at home all last summer and I left as much as I could and spent the rest of my time on the porch by myself.  I should have been seeking out all of these people who live around home still.  Even though they stayed at home, they are still doing big things with their lives.  Although, in the past year, since many of my class have graduated college, even more have moved back home than I would have expected. 

It was Lanark's annual Old Settler's Days, the biggest party Lanark has all year.  It was my first time being there since I can drink.  Too much fun.  WHO KNEW that Old Settler's Days were so rockin?!?  Well I'll be back next year to cause some madness again.  After the beer tent closed, we also closed down Dave's Place, the ONE and ONLY bar in Lanark.  Then I went to a party and THEN I stayed up talking to an old friend who is WAY more intelligent than I ever realized.

I LEARNED that I should have listened to my own advice.  I worked very hard in high school and was the Salutatorian of my class, which means I got to give a speech at graduation.  In my speech I told my classmates to go on to bigger and better things, but never forget where you came from.  All this time, I've been forgetting where I came from and only now did I realize that a huge part of who I am is because of where I came from and from who I had around me all those years. 

Me, Mari, Anna and Kiley in the car on the way to Old Settler's Days.  Somehow I always manage to pick right up where I left off with these girls.  "Cactus Friends" my mama always calls friends like these.  "You only have to 'water' them every once in a while, and they love you anyway"

Only in Decatur

My entire weekend was filled with “Only in Decatur” moments.  A blue Macaw at Culver’s.  Stop the Violence Block Party.  Team DTF 150+ dB. 

When I first moved to Decatur, I heard so many bad things about this town.  The more I see in Decatur, the more those bad things were both confirmed and at the same time proven untrue.  There are some real social issues in Decatur, but at the same time, there are so many wonderful people here.  There are issues, but there are a lot of people trying their best to address those issues.

Some of my new friends might not be so concerned with the social issues here in Decatur, but they have sure made it easier for me to bear living here.  Before I met them, most of the people I knew were under the age of 18 or over the age of 50.  I laugh a lot more now that I actually have friends. 

I don’t know what I’m going to do if Alexa accepts her new job offer.  She would move to Chicago and leave me!!  It is selfish of me to want her to stay, but I can’t help feeling that way.  I’VE LEARNED that friends are fluid.  Every stage of life comes with new friends.  New friends from high school to community college. New friends the next year of community college when all of my first year friends graduated. New friends at ISU. New friends when I changed majors. New friends with every new boyfriend. New friends now for my year as a VISTA.  Soon enough I’ll have to make grad school friends. Then I’ll need to make “real life” friends.  Sometimes I hate making new friends, just knowing that I will have to start all over again when this stage of life is over.  But it’s those friends you make along the way that really make that stage worth being there. 

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans" --John Lennon, "Beautiful Boy"

The More You Know

Tonight I LEARNED that it IS about who you know.  Not for getting great jobs or neat experiences, but for enjoying your life.  It about who you choose to spend your time with.  If you fill your life with boring people, your life will be boring.  If you fill it with mean people, you too turn mean spirited.  If you fill your life with those who love to laugh, with those people who fill your ears with stimulating conversation and your eyes with toothy grins, you will lead a happy life.  I've always managed to find happiness in my life, and I attribute that solely to the people in my life.  I've found such wonderful people, how could I ever justify being unhappy?

New Buddy-Buddies

Spent time with new friends tonight on the lake.  WHAT I LEARNED tonight is that making friends can make any new place feel like home.  Even this picture looks like a million pictures I've taken from my parents' boat on the Mississippi. I'm sad that it took me so long to finally make friends, but I am glad it happened just in time to have a great summer full of nights like these.